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So according to a recent CNN article, the Girl Scouts average about $700 million a year in cookie sales. $700 million!!! What in the name of holy hell do they spend those millions on? More yarn for their arts and crafts projects? Is the material for their little green uniforms that costly?? Do they get bonuses or something? Go on vacation to the Cayman Islands? (I was too shy as a kid to join the Girl Scouts so I honestly have no idea what the heck they get up to.)
$700 million. jesus. I was suddenly struck with the idea...why don't THEY bailout the government? It's ingenious. EVERYone buys their cookies, right? Come on, you'd be inhuman or severely diabetic if you haven't scarfed down an entire box of thin mints at least once in your life. Soooo the Girl Scouts should take their millions upon millions to produce even more boxes of cookies and launch a massive WORLDWIDE cookie-selling campaign to double...nay...triple their profits. With those profits, they bailout the US government, and everyone is happy because the economy is back on track and because we'll all be wondrously fat and high from the excessive sugar-intake.
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Obama, I'll be willing to draft a more detailed initiative for this...you just give me the green light and I'll get right on it.