About Me

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New York, New York, United States
"Life isn't divided into genres. It's a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel."

Friday, April 18, 2008

Beta Three is the key

Yao Ming and Chien-ming Wang are two of China's greatest contributions to American athletics. In fact, they may be the only two. Now we're not a nation of particularly strong or powerfully built people. What we lack in size, we certainly make up in numbers.

Yao Ming burst on to the scene about five years ago; ludicrously tall at a little over 7 feet (!!!) but with a mean free throw shot. Okay, so 7 feet?? When the average Chinese man is about 5 feet 8 inches!? My firm belief is that the Chinese government genetically engineered Yao to grow to a hulking 7 feet and to weigh an even more unbelievable 310 lbs. Why are they doing this? Think about it. China is quickly becoming the leading economic superpower of the world. The military is also increasing in power but the average Chinese soldier can't really compare in size and strength. Yao (now known as Beta One) is the first of the government's experiments in creating a Chinese supersoldier, if you will. Except, I think they went a bit overboard with their testing and Yao's measurements were exaggerated to a ridiculous degree. (see above)

In comes Chien-Ming Wang...or Beta Two. Now here's a Chinese man that's a bit more realistic. Weighing in at around 200 lbs at just over 6 feet, Wang is one of the NY Yankees' star pitchers. I think the genetic engineering was much more successful with Wang as he's actually at a believable weight and height.

Now why are they in sports? It's obvious. American sports are so widely televised and broadcasted. The chinese government is using that as a means for the world to become accustomed to the "new" type of Chinese man so that when they start creating more and more of these betas, other governments will be less suspicious. Devious but ingenious. So what's next? We wait for Beta Three. As the saying goes, the third time is the charm.

(I watch far too much X-Files)

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Rowena O'Hara

So I just spent a very lovely weekend in South Carolina and it was my first foray into that region. Wow, Margaret Mitchell really wasn't joking around. Hot, still days...lush palmettos and jungly sprays, sluggish swamps and lagoons. It was a whole new world for me and I fell in love. I didn't even mind the humidity and the 18,436 different bugs that attacked me (well okay, I did a little). But I could get used to a life like that...exchanging friendly hello's with neighbors, trips into town for groceries, quiet nights on the porch with just a book and a cool drink. Even the intermittent thunderstorm would serve as a welcome break from the languidness. It's just a whole other life that I never imagined for myself until now.